Relationship Counselling Online Relationship, marriage and individual counselling and psychotherapy online via Zoom, Skype and the phone

Couple Counselling. Kate

Marriage and couple counselling and psychotherapy online via Zoom, Skype and the phone for all English speaking clients in the UK and for British working abroad including Expats.

Couple counselling offers a place where there is no blame, no judgement, where no-one is the ‘bad guy’. Couple counselling is where the impact of two people on one relationship is explored.

Couples counselling leads to a more authentically connected contented relationship.


The 3 main reasons for couple counselling...

1. To develop, change or grow a relationship.
2. To make a decision about a relationship.
3. To separate.

It may be that each person in your relationship, whether this is a partnership, friendship or a family connection, is in different places regarding wants and desires and that is absolutely ok as counselling will help talk through individual needs.


How will couple counselling help?

  • Feel heard, seen and listened to
  • Improve your communication skills
  • Talk freely without fear of judgement
  • Unlearn patterns which are no longer beneficial to you
  • Learn how your past impacts your now
  • Learn how to comfortably express genuine feelings, i.e. anger, resentment, shame, joy, sad, etc.
  • Learn that you have needs and you are perfectly entitled to ask for them
  • Realise ‘you are not the bad guy/girl’ in the relationship and it is co-created
  • Recognise how living in the past or future robs you of life today
  • Look at the impact of each other (and vice versa)
  • Realise that blame is avoiding feeling pain
  • Work on defense mechanisms which were created in childhood and are no longer working
  • Look at how stuckness and resistance are showing you a way forward
  • Find a voice and recover from past / current trauma
  • Reduce sensitivity through working on depersonalising your partner's every word
  • Celebrate your relationship
  • Build your own inner resilience
  • Learn self-acceptance and self-compassion and extend to your partner
  • Heal past relationship feelings, i.e. neglect, anger, resentment
  • Incorporate fun and humour - it is important to be able to smile and laugh with your partner.

    In reality, what couple therapy demonstrates is a real relationship, a relationship which you can model in your own relationship and other relationships around you.


  • Online Couple Counselling

    So first out, change IS is uncomfortable and that is why they say that, on average, couples take 7 years too long to come to therapy (yes, 7 years!). So if you are here sooner, you are already doing a great job.

    Letting a third person into your relationship takes courage yet what is important to remember is that it is with a view to change and to help you live more comfortably and contentedly within your relationship. For all intense and purposes you have tried your best yet, sometimes, you can be at your wits end as to what is happening and that is why you find yourself here. Isn't it true that you have learnt Maths, you have learnt English, yet where have you learnt how to be in relationship? Is it any wonder there can be struggle and the very reason you are here means you want different.

    Couple counselling is about creating a new relationship where you are informed by the past yet you do not live in it. The fact you are here is not one person's fault, is is about what is being co-created.

    In your sessions we will explore the dance you are doing, we will look at the steps you are both making and we will work together to find new ways of your dance being a bit smoother.

    I will encourage you to engage as individuals and as a couple drawing on your own internal resources (of which you both have many) which will help you discover more options and choices (ones that may currently be hidden from you).

    Couple Counselling. OnlineCounselling

    A few examples of the types of questions you may be asking yourself...

  • How do I understand the needs of my partner in our relationship?
  • Why do I feel like I am losing myself in my relationship?
  • How do I keep my partners attention?
  • We are rowing; what is going wrong?
  • My partner has had an affair, am I to blame?
  • How do I save our relationship?
  • Why don't I trust my partner?
  • My partner says my past is impacting our relationship, is it?
  • I married for life. I feel sad in my relationship. Should we divorce?
  • Nothing feels wrong yet nothing feels right either - how can I understand us?
  • Why do I feel so unloved in my relationship?
  • Is it me? Am I the problem? Is it him/her? I feel like I am going mad.
  • Why is my relationship failing?
  • How do I cope with my emotion in my relationship?
  • I feel bored in my relationship - why is that?
  • I am feeling angry and resentful - how can I communicate this without offending?
  • Do we have a good relationship?
  • How can I improve my relationships?
  • What makes a strong relationship?

    All of these are great questions and counselling brings a sense of normality by providing a safe space where we can work on them together. It is worth remembering you are two different people, with different needs and, at times, you may feel uncertain in your relationship and that is ok. When two individuals come together so do two worlds of difference and it is about how you navigate difference together.


  • Behaviours you may be experiencing in your relationship...

  • arguing / bickering / disagreements
  • blaming / criticising
  • frustration / resentment build-up
  • walking on eggshells
  • withdrawn or distant
  • passive / aggressive behaviour
  • loss of attraction and/or intimacy
  • trapped in negative cycles
  • lack of fun / too little time together
  • impact of becoming parents
  • navigating life transitions
  • communication problems
  • feeling unloved, deprived
  • feel unfulfilled or disrespected
  • conflict, i.e. finance, family, step, etc.
  • feel unimportant or silenced
  • ‘third object’ getting in the way (gadget, alcohol, child, etc.)
  • past triggered
  • inequality, i.e. top dog or less than
  • affair or betrayal
  • contemplating separation
  • conflicting goals / values / beliefs
  • difference
  • feeling shame or guilt
  • feeling controlled / lack of freedom
  • problems with marriage 2.0


  • So question time: –

    Does this sound like the kind of relationship you want?

    If yes click here to contact me letting me know which available appointment time you wish to take so we can start working together on your wants, needs and desires.

    If no, read on as you are here as you are in discomfort so you may need a little more encouragement.


    Slogans to help you consider how you communicate in your relationships


    NHS….

    N – is it Necessary?
    H – is it Honest?
    S – is it Self-seeking?

    CAT….

    Communication
    Appreciation
    Trust

    HOW….

    Honesty
    Openness
    Willingness


    Contact


    Contact from website

    Please click here to contact me and include the appointment time you are enquiring about.

    Email Contact

    Email relationshipscounsellingonline@gmail.com

    Text / WhatsApp / Telephone Contact

    Contact 07941 305511 to make an appointment.

    Please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I am able.

    Note that if your telephone number is unfamiliar to me, and you do not leave a message, I will not call you back as I am unaware of your individual situation.

    I confirm that both my email account and voicemail are password protected and only accessible by me.

    Not ready yet?

    That is absolutely ok yet there is a saying 'nothing changes if nothing changes' so only by being brave and courageous will you experience change. I am happy to be alongside you why you transition.

    Please know I work in Private Practice Monday - Thursday and I will get back to you within these times.


    A quote for reflection....

    ‘Couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs out of mindlessness, not malice’.
    Dr John Gottman


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