Choose Relationship Counselling Online for your individual or couple journey - Kate is a British born English speaking therapist living in Surrey, England
I believe, as human beings, we all experience discomfort in our lives at times and no-one is immune from the challenges life brings. YOU are here as YOU have decided that YOU want to live in a healthier way for YOU and that is absolutely awesome.
I am on your life journey as and when you need. You can come to therapy initially, leave, go away and live life knowing that, if needed, you can come back to a place where you are known. I am a relationship practitioner that moves alongside you and your life with all the challenges it brings.
What any Relationship Counselling Online client will tell you is that I do not believe 'in therapy for life'. Actually quite the contrary; I believe in you coming to therapy, anchoring, learning what you need, and then drifting off again on you life adventure knowing that, if/when needed, you can come back to therapy and drop your anchor. Your initial anchoring may consist of weeks, months or years and if/when you come back this could be for a session or 10 dependent on the event!
For me, this promotes self-dependency and self-sufficiency as you go out into the world living your own adventure.
Well, if you think about it, relationships are literally all around you whether this is a partner, family, friend, work colleague, neighbour or the strangers you bump into in the street! And, more importantly, not forgetting the relationship you have with yourself. The reason you are seeking therapy is due to something not quite working in how you relate and a big contributor can be how you have learnt to communicate and trust others.
Through being in relationship with others feelings and thoughts are experienced and your mind then creates an internal dialogue; a story it tells you. Then, depending on your life experience, comes the healthiness of your next step…….
1. Have you learnt it is ok to express your feelings and /or thoughts in a communicative way?
2. Have you learnt to completely avoid and deny your feelings or thoughts?
3. Have you learnt to grab the attention of another person (or object) to help you feel better?
It may not surprise you that number 1 is the healthiest way. Yet, what may surprise you is approximately 45% of humans do not do that! 45% use options 2 and 3 using learnt behaviours and defense mechanisms which result in internal distress, unhappiness, unfulfillment, stress and discontentment. What the world then sees is behaviours such as addiction (alcohol and eating disorders), trust issues, perfectionism, loss of self-esteem, lack of confidence, neediness, avoidance, unpleasant feelings (anger, resentment, anxiety, depressive mood, etc.) which all contribute to life struggles. Yet these are all only symptoms created by an underlying cause of how you feel, and connect, with yourself. This then impacts on the quality of your life and how you feel about yourself and others.
The underlying cause is HOW you feel about yourself and the messages you give yourself, i.e. I am not worthy of more; I am bad; I deserve this; I will never be happy; I will be rejected if I am me; I am not enough; I need to be punished; life isn't fair; I need to appease, etc. These are all learnt behaviours/maladaptations used to stay in relationship at any cost to you to avoid rejection and/or abandonment. These behaviours mask pain and disconnection; they are learnt coping mechanisms. Ultimately it is these behaviours that can cause isolation, loneliness and disconnection with the world as the cycle goes round and round.
So question time: –
Are you one of the 45%?
Is this pattern familiar?
Do you want to break your patterns and re-learn?
Do you want to change?
If so click here to contact me.
Relationship symptoms and issues are the unpleasant feelings you experience from being IN relationship with yourself and others. You will have learnt ways to navigate your feelings along your life and you will have coping strategies that have got you this far. Yet, the reason you are here, is that these strategies are no longer working for you.
To name a few Symptoms/Issues: - addiction (alcohol and/or eating disorders), relationship problems (trust, resentment, jealousy, rejection, rage, etc.), anxiety, low self-esteem, low confidence / mood, stress, perfectionism, control, communication, etc. are all BECAUSE you are in relationship with yourself and others. Even the extent of grief when bereaved or when loss is experienced is due to being in relationship (or not if there was estrangement.
Counselling is about reaching out and creating a new relationship with you. At times you may ask yourself questions such as ‘who am I?’ or ‘what do I really want from life?’ and these questions can seem the most natural in the world as you reflect on what has got you here.
This in itself already demostrates strength as you are here; you know you are unhappy; you are reaching out; and that is where the 'we' we create comes in as change can be uncomfortable as you move away from what is familiar. YET, this familiar has you feeling unhappy hence why you are here.
My aim from the moment of your initial contact is to help you feel as welcome and comfortable as possible. My hope is that you will quickly discover that our client/therapist relationship is a relationship like no other. It is where we work together to unpick your life so you can find healthier ways of interacting and living with yourself. It is a therapeutic relationship completely focused on you where there is no blame, no judgement and no criticising. It is a relationship where my aim is for you to feel listened to, empathised with and tentatively challenged as you reflect as your world begins to open up in a different way.
What has you reading here is the belief and hope that you can experience different and I absolutely guarantee you can, through work, awareness and change.
In our sessions I will encourage you to engage in yourself, whether as an individual or couple, drawing on your own internal resources. This will help you discover more options and choices (ones that may currently be hidden or you are blinded to). Therapy is about becoming more knowing of yourself and how you interact with others.
Change happens by taking.........
I am in exactly the right vocation as I am an inquisitive soul (some call it ‘nosiness’!). I will have curiosity about your story and the impact of your past on you now. I will ask questions such as ‘why’? ‘what’? and ‘how’? and tentatively challenge you so you can uncover more about you.
If you want awaReness, Change and grOwth then I am the counsellor and psychotherapist for you.
Contact from this Website
Please click here to contact me and include the appointment time you are enquiring about.
Text / WhatsApp / Telephone Contact
Contact 07941 305511 to make an appointment.
Please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I am able.
Note that if your telephone number is unfamiliar to me, and you do not leave a message, I will not call you back as I am unaware of your individual situation.
I confirm that both my email account and voicemail are password protected and only accessible by me.
Not ready yet?
That is absolutely ok yet there is a saying 'nothing changes if nothing changes' so only by being brave and courageous will you experience change. I am happy to be alongside you why you transition.
Please know I work in Private Practice Monday - Thursday and I will get back to you within these times.