Kate Heavey - BACP Accredited. The Online Therapist, Counsellor and Psychotherapist. Specialisms: relationships, bereavement, loss, alcohol and binge eating disorder. English speaking therapist and expat relationship counsellor.
Hello and welcome to my website.
My name is Kate and I am a passionate BACP accredited counsellor, psychotherapist and relationship practitioner based in Alfold, Surrey (UK).
The reason you are here is primarily due to an area of your life currently being uncomfortable and you want to change it.
The one thing that counselling brings is hope that things can be different and I absolutely guarantee they can if you are willing to make a few changes.
As an English speaking therapist, and additionally an expat relationship counsellor, I provide individual therapy, relationship and marriage counselling online for you, your relationships and the symptoms/issues that come from being in relationship. I work with individuals, couples and 'twos', i.e. siblings, friends, mothers / daughters, fathers / sons, steps, etc.
I currently have a full practice and I am not in a position to take on new clients.
Please search the BACP website to find an alternative BACP accredited counsellor:-
The 3 main reasons for relationship counselling are: -
1. To develop, change or grow a relationship.
2. To make a decision about a relationship.
3. To separate.
It may be that each person in your relationship, whether this is a partnership, friendship or a family connection, is in different places regarding wants and desires and that is absolutely ok as counselling will help talk through individual needs.
What you may be experiencing currently can include: -
- strained communication
- increased bickering
- conflicting values
- circular patterns
- unpleasant feelings, i.e. guilt, resentment, anger, jealousy
- betrayal / affair
- trust issues
- feeling taken for granted / unprioritised
- bereavement or loss
- relationship insecurity / anxiety
- life changes, i.e. becoming parents, moving area/country, redundancy, retirement
- increased alcohol or food use
- work stresses
- considering relationship change and you want to discuss options
- plus many more.
We will work with you both on your goals to find you a path you feel more contented, happy and fulfilled on.
The reason you are seeking counselling is unique as you are yet may include : -
- feelings around excessive alcohol use or binge eating such as shame or guilt
- processing a bereavement or loss
- communication issues in your personal or work life
- low self-esteem, low self-confidence or not liking how you feel about yourself (self-worth)
- feeling ungrounded or unsafe in the world and struggling with anxiety
- a life experience or trauma that is keeping you stuck
- feeling sad, lonely or low in mood
- a.n.other reason.
The good thing is you are here as you are fed up of living as you are and you want to change.
Whether here as an individual, a couple or part of a 'two' in any relationship (work, home, family, neighbours, etc.) there are two perspectives; two sets of values / beliefs; two different life stories; two sets of defenses and two learnt ways of being in the world. Invariably this then creates difference in relationship which, if harboured or not spoken about, can turn into unpleasant feelings such as anger, upset, disappointment, guilt, general fedupness, etc. within the relationship which then impacts not only your relationship yet how you are in other areas of your life too.
Please know it is perfectly normal to have difference yet it is about how you deal with it and this will be dependent on the tools you have been given / picked up along the way.
Relationship counselling offers: unpicking the past (as necessary), looking at the current relationship, learning new tools, learning to vocalise feelings in an adult way and being able to be real knowing your relationship can hold you (and the other!).
Most clients come into therapy in the mourning stage of loss. Together we work on your feelings and thoughts at a pace which is comfortable for you.
There can be an assumption that grief goes over time and whilst that, to a certain extent, is true what is not true is that grief completely disappears as it is testiment to the relationship which was experienced. What happens in the mourning and grieving process is that you integrate grief into your daily life as this picture demonstrates:-
You can find more about how I counsel with loss and bereavement by clicking here.
Alcohol and binge eating disorder (BED) are both problems worldwide and studies show the pandemic saw increases in both. Why? We are a more challenged, socially demanded, detached society than ever before.
Whether this is due to relationship issues, trauma or isolation (in 2018 the Government even appointed a Minister of loneliness) more people are turning to substances for comfort to feel voids to help manage the way they feel or simply to help with day to day living than ever before.
You can find more about how I counsel with alcohol addiction and BED by clicking here.
The main aim of therapy is for you to come to your sessions (whether as an individual, couple or two) to unlearn some habits and ill-effective ways of being and to re-learn new ways to communicate and be so you are more at ease within yourself and within your relationships. I am a firm believer that you have all you need within you.
I see my role as helping you to process, and connect with, your own life story; to provide guidance so you can trust in yourself more; for us to look at new ways of working; for you to offload some of your old baggage and in its place create more helpful habits.
What I aim to do is represented in the Chinese symbol to listen: -
I am passionate about counselling and psychotherapy as I know it transforms lives.
I am so invested that I even offer the initial assessment complimentary for individuals so you can meet me and I can run through some of your background and what it is that brings you to counselling (£30 for couples for 50 minutes due to pre-assessment work). This also gives you an opportunity to ask any questions you may have.
Whether in the UK, Europe, or if you are requiring an expat relationship counsellor, please do contact me to get the assistance you need today.
I counsel online from my office on the Surrey / West Sussex borders in the UK so I am on British time.
My current online work takes me around the world from my local village, to further afield in the UK to Europe extending to the world.
As an English speaking therapist I am often chosen as an expat relationship counsellor having spent a year abroad and having some awareness of the isolating issues of being in a community which is not that of your home. I bring comfort of 'home when away'.
Often when clients want marriage counselling online I am chosen for convenience around family life as, through your laptop window, you can have couple counselling in your home.
Cautionary note: Even though I am registered and qualified in England any counselling work we do is subject to Laws in the country in which you reside at the time of therapy.
Contact from website
Click here to contact me and please include what appointment time you are looking for.
Text / WhatsApp / Telephone Contact
Contact 07941 305511 to make an appointment.
Please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I am able.
Note that if your telephone number is unfamiliar to me, and you do not leave a message, I will not call you back as I am unaware of your individual situation.
I confirm that both my email account and voicemail are password protected and only accessible by me.
Not ready yet?
That is absolutely ok yet there is a saying 'nothing changes if nothing changes' so only by being brave and courageous will you experience change. I am happy to be alongside you why you transition.
I work in Private Practice Monday - Friday and I will get back to you within these times.
A quote for reflection....
‘Together we can achieve so much... you've just got to take the first step onto the bridge'
Kate, Relationship Counselling Online
I offer couple and marriage counselling online. I am a British expat relationship counsellor and an English speaking therapist at Relationship Counselling Online. I am an online teletherapist using Zoom, Skype, Signal, the phone and other platforms. I work with relationships, alcohol addiction, binge eating disorder, bereavement, loss, self-esteem, self-confident and other issues.